Why "Just Do It" Doesn't Work When You're Frozen
I called it laziness. It had a different name the whole time.
I used to think I had a motivation problem when I was buried in stress and overwhelm.
There were days I’d sit down with my to-do list right in front of me, knowing exactly what I needed to get done, and it sat untouched. No strike-through or productivity in completing the tasks for the day. It’s not exactly procrastination or avoidance on purpose. My body would just go quiet or stop.
I felt heavy. Like someone turned the volume down on the part of me that gets things done. What the heck is going on here?
I called it laziness, but that wasn’t me. I always finished my goals for the day, and it wasn’t happening this time, so what gives? I gave myself a hard time about it. I told myself I needed more discipline, a better planner (yes, I bought several types of planners) to be more organized, and I would say to myself, “Just get it done, Shannon!”
What was actually happening was not laziness or a lack of motivation; it was called Freeze.
Most of us grew up hearing about fight-or-flight. Fewer of us learned about freeze, the nervous system’s third option, the one that kicks in when your body decides fighting or fleeing isn’t going to work. It’s had its fill; I’m done, thank you.
Instead of ramping you up, it shuts you down. Sometimes just a little. Sometimes almost to a complete stop, all the way.
Here’s the part that changed things for me.
Freeze isn’t something you choose. It’s not a weakness, and it’s not a character flaw. It’s your nervous system that is doing exactly what it’s built to do when stress has been too much for too long, with no clear way out.
And here’s the part I didn’t realize or fully understand: freeze doesn’t always look like collapsing on the couch.
For a lot of us, especially the high-functioning, high-achieving type, freeze looks like still showing up. Still answering emails. Still getting the kids to school. All while feeling completely checked out on the inside.
Foggy.
Numb.
Disconnected from your own life while somehow still running it.
I remember sitting at my desk at work, just staring off into space. It may have been the computer screen, a spot on the desk, or my picture of my husband. But it was happening much more as the days went on.
It doesn’t always look like what you’d expect.
Your body has been trying to protect you. When your stress is prolonged, the body defends you before your brain decides what to do.
In this week’s paid post, I’m walking you through:
Exactly what’s happening in your nervous system when freeze sets in
Why willpower can’t talk you out of it
The specific body-based steps that actually help you come back to yourself
And if you want the broader picture first, the blog post on functioning-until-you’re-not is right here. Freeze Response: Break Free From Feeling Stuck And Unmotivated
